Discord
Changelog
*The following pages would seem crumpled or well creased, inserted into the journal and bound with a thin leather strip. The writing would be scribbled, almost illegible, seemingly made from charcoal or some other material.*
Fate... Did fate bring me here? Why, why would it do that. My enemy lies right beyond these cell walls. It’s been three days since I arrived, the darkness is starting to become normal, but this place is unnatural, I know its purpose, the reason I’m here... They whisper calming words to me when I try to sleep, but I’ll have none of it. Ilmater is a fraud, nothing but an old cripple, but this is not the way. I won’t stoop to their levels. Why though? Why would they place me here of all places? In a prison created by that damned Dark Goddess? I should never have trusted that damned woman...
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Water and meals. They seem intent on keeping me alive as I do everything in my power to keep my strength up. I’ve found that while my physical strength continues to improve, my mental strength begins to diminish. The sins of these people cloud my head constantly, try to force their way through my vision. I doubt I’ll be able to truly combat them, but I can continue to build my strength so that I might strike out.
====================
*The writing would seem frantic*
These mental images... What are they doing to me? I have to strain, strain so hard just to focus... Damn it all, what is this dark magic!? This void... It permeates my mind, tries to subject me to its will, drives me away from any semblance of who I am... But worst of all... I like it.
I need to escape, somehow, somewhere, this isn’t happening... This can’t be happening!
====================
I can’t believe I resisted for so long. The priestess says it had been four whole seasons! I feel better though now that I’ve accepted it, this void grows stronger in my vision, but I feel better, feel like I can truly serve the... No, my dark goddess now.
====================
She discussed me joining the clergy as an initiate. All I have to do is make a sacrifice. It feels so much easier than I would have expected... Is this truly what I want though, or is it this void that... Feels so nice... I don’t know. I’m going through with it though, this will etch my name into m’lady’s domain, make my connection with her more... Permanent, perhaps.
====================
*The pages would return to the book as the short section ends, the ink elegant with a slight tinge of purple now, the writing clean, neat.*
I have blood on my hands.
The goblins, the orcs, yes they were sentient beings, but I killed them quickly, they were evil, wrong, a scourge to the world. I begged forgiveness to Ilmater with each kill. This woman though... She was an innocent, an elven clergy member of Selune torn from her temple by stealth and subterfuge. I can’t turn back now, my fate is decided, there is no redemption from this point. With the changing of my fate though, I’ve come to like this void in my mind even more... It takes quite a bit of focus to keep myself from fading into it. It was so, so easy sneaking into the temple while they were all asleep, all it required were a few spells to protect me from the damned moon goddess as the lunar eclipse was in full swing.
If this book is ever found, let it be known that I kill not out of enjoyment or pleasure, but as a necessity. These deeds are not something I enjoy, or will ever enjoy. I commit them to further the Nightsinger.
====================
My brothers and sisters spread rumors about me... They believe I’m not faithful nor wise enough to become a full fledged clergy member. They seek chaos whereas I seek order and controlled chaos utilized as needed. Perhaps it’s simply my training shining through, my values, but these heathens do not understand, they’ve never understood. I believe most of them are truly enraptured simply in the aspect of darkness, of nothingness. They might as well follow the teachings of Ibrandul or Loviatar, for they won’t fully understand what Shar can be.
M’lady is the true darkness within each and every one of us. She stands not for what we long for, or wish for, but of what each of us can be or become with just that slight push over the edge. I strain for my order because I know when it snaps and breaks, I’ll be more of a monster than I ever was under my code and honor. I know the value of secrets, and of the power to manipulate.
And yet I feel like an outcast among my people in secrecy...
====================
It’s been a few years, hasn’t it? I’m still an initiate. They’re sending me to Thay of all places... Thay! Of course we’re legal in Thay. No more hiding, no more secret meetings. I might as well just brand her insignia into my skin for everyone to know whom I worship. We set out on our journey soon, and then will proceed to set sail. I’ve come to live with this void, and manage it. It still clouds my vision, but I’ve learned to focus, and use this focus to direct my full attention at a target in combat. It’s become a part of me...
====================
Names... So many names. Belos Galambos, Willo Goodman, Drom... I don’t remember ever having to remember so many names in such a short time, I didn’t even know the names of half my brothers and sisters at the temple... Slavers ambushed our caravan. Most of the initiates fled or killed them, but I was separated from the group. They chased me into some forest for days until I arrived at the edge of a cliff. A... I believe it was a red wizard who saved me, but I don’t know for sure. What I do know is that the Clergy have no recollection of our group being sent here, they simply said I’d become an initiate. Them and I have been fighting over my visions, and that I’ve begun to make enough of a name to attract assassins. They still think I should only be an initiate though. I’ve also taken up slaving, I mean... What’s the lives of a few dozen thugs and monsters in the grand scheme of things?
Perhaps it is time to sever my ties and spread Shar’s will how it was meant to be spread. By the blade of a sword upon my enemies, so that all may know her name, fear, and revere it.
====================
Willo Goodman... An interesting fellow and a drunk. I consider him a solid ally though at this time, despite worshipping some pitiful excuse for a god... It’s a shame what happened to him with the fire giant, and I feel horrible about it, but he’s alive and well enough, and I returned most of his belongings.
Shar dictates I should have kept them, perhaps, but my code of honor is strict, and I could do no such thing.
====================
It is done. The High Priestess was angry, she threatened to kill me even, but she... Believes in my visions, or perhaps she received word to not end my life. I am going to join the Priador legion. If I can help with this damned Salamander war, it’ll begin to spread enough of a name for myself to further M’lady’s cause. On top of that I’ll be close at hand to the temple so sending reports will be easy.
====================
The Priador bastards won’t accept me. You’d think with Salamanders near their doorsteps they’d want every able bodied man and woman under their commanders... Especially since they charge for everything except our cloaks. No matter, I am going to join the Thazalhar Legion... Sergeant Drom feels this would be beneficial, and I do owe him a good deal in getting oriented with Thay. Yes, that will do.
====================
Lycanthropy... I was lucky to catch it in time with Willo’s help. Gods, that could have been a lot worse than it was...
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It seems I haven’t gained much respect... The fellow legionnaires have been referring to me as “The Whiskey Queen” ever since I brought in that little gang of thugs who ambushed me while I was out drunk. The commander thinks I should have killed them, but killing should be reserved for more serious cases. I’d say ten lashings each and they’ll learn their lesson right quick. Besides... I think the damage I caused in my state will keep them in line.
====================
Belos Galambos, an interesting fellow and I think I’d consider him a friend. The man is rather strange, but so is any red wizard or apprentice to them. I think we’ll get along just fine we will.
Not to even mention that spell... I don’t know what it is, but it... Clears the void from my head when he casts it- at least temporarily. I feel whole again, but I also begin to think more deeply... Is what I’m doing wrong? No, no way, that can’t be. Shar’s will is always right, I can’t believe I’d even question that!
====================
The defense of Alaor was a success! I’m quickly gaining fame and prestige among my colleagues much to the Chagrin of Davis. Really now, why does he hate me so much? Suppose I’ll never know.
That battle was tough, but we pulled through. I wasn’t keen on the idea of being led by a gnoll, but no matter, the mission was a success and I doubt anyone will think much of whomever was leading us, heh.
====================
I’ve been given a gift from my goddess... I’m finding myself more and more in-tune with the divine half of my training, though I still practice furiously in regards to my physical training.
====================
Met a man named Gust... Can’t stand Shaundakul, but his wares are worth having to deal with that damned shrine being so close.
Also began working on finding gargoyle skulls. Used to spot them all over the place, but they seem to be something of a rarity now that I actually -want- to find them. And he wants thirty of them no less! A contract is a contract though, and I won’t put it down for anything!
====================
Met a man, or rather half dragon named Valin Storm today. He’s definitely a business person, and I’m rather sure he’s a member of the Tyraturos legion. He irritates me to no end, I absolutely can’t stand him! Yet... At the same time I find myself peculiarly drawn towards him. This is a very strange feeling, and one that I don’t like at all. I’m usually prone to simply ignoring such things as they don’t even cross my mind, but at the same time, I usually don’t think about sparring with folks... That would be a rather... Ecstatic experience, fighting someone who had half a brain and had a large chance of potentially winning.
What am I thinking? Bah, I need to go kill something, maybe capture a slave or two. I barely know the bastard...
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Met an elf recently who I’m considering not enslaving surprisingly enough, and Belos disappeared. Strange.
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Haha! I’ve been promoted! Davis can go shove a greataxe down his throat, this promotion came straight from the Thazalhar legion! I’m going to be sure to put it to great use, and continue to train, learn, study... Thay will stand tall, but its citizens shall know fear towards M’lady in due course...
====================
I... Really need to lay off the alcohol. I now know that Mr. Storm can be trusted after that little excursion to the hotsprings, but at the same time, I should have had more self control in the first place.
====================
The defense of Bezantur was a success, thank Kossuth for that agreement... The salamandars were driven out, and my short-lived command will surely reflect well in the Priador. It’s a shame Belos wasn’t there to help... I wonder if he’s dead?
Willo’s helped me begin to realize an underlying threat here though. The one known as Raevyn... She follows the Gnoll, not Thay. She’s a threat, and I’ll be keeping a closer eye on her- should I become the rank of lieutenant I’ll be sure to have others do the same while she’s in Thazalhar or Moszabbar. To what lengths would she follow that damned gnoll over Thay? Even with my worship I’ve begun to hail this country as a place of true freedom that the “free” nations would never understand.
====================
I’ve decided to move in with Mr. Storm. It’s economical and puts a roof over my head, and quite frankly I need to save as much money while still keeping as much stability as I can. He’s even agreed to waive the fees if I help him from time to time on contracts!
I can’t help but feel he was acting strange around me.
====================
I... No one’s done that before, given me a gift... I received rewards for services rendered, and have earned payment. I’ve received investments too, but never... Gifts... I need to thank him when I see him again, but he always seems to be out and about or asleep when I’m home... A letter simply won’t cut it. I still need to arrange for a spar. I think I’ve grown stronger, and I think I might beat him, even if it would be a long, arduous fight, probably pretty sweaty and
Gah! I really, really need to clear these thoughts from my head. Damned half-dragon...
====================
Helped Willo out today... I kinda want to get to know him more, he’s an interesting fellow, perhaps not so much of a drunk as I thought though definitely a bit oblivious at times...
I can’t tell what he thinks about my moving in with Mr. Storm, though I doubt he’s keen on the idea.
====================
Setting off for Nethwatch tomorrow. I owe Drom big time! I mean, five skulls? That’s a lot of money, but it's well worth it... Growing fond of this place though, even if I know that only two rooms are technically “mine.”
====================
Sparred with Mr. Storm today. He's a pretty shoddy horseman, but I gotta give him credit, he can fight. It was very enjoyable, though I got the strange feeling that he was toying with me by the end of the first round. What happened on those tournament grounds can stay there, but needless to say I'm still debating whether he makes me grate my teeth or grin.
The match though... It was absolutely amazing! I'm still recovering from it. Usually when I get hurt, I just feel pain and numbness from whatever herbs I'm using, but right now I feel warmth... I don't like it. I don't like it at all, yet here it is and I'm somehow enjoying it. Perhaps my joy of fighting is simply getting the best of me... Or I'm a glutton for punishment. I plan to beat him nonetheless one of these days. Stupid half dragon.
Fate... Did fate bring me here? Why, why would it do that. My enemy lies right beyond these cell walls. It’s been three days since I arrived, the darkness is starting to become normal, but this place is unnatural, I know its purpose, the reason I’m here... They whisper calming words to me when I try to sleep, but I’ll have none of it. Ilmater is a fraud, nothing but an old cripple, but this is not the way. I won’t stoop to their levels. Why though? Why would they place me here of all places? In a prison created by that damned Dark Goddess? I should never have trusted that damned woman...
====================
Water and meals. They seem intent on keeping me alive as I do everything in my power to keep my strength up. I’ve found that while my physical strength continues to improve, my mental strength begins to diminish. The sins of these people cloud my head constantly, try to force their way through my vision. I doubt I’ll be able to truly combat them, but I can continue to build my strength so that I might strike out.
====================
*The writing would seem frantic*
These mental images... What are they doing to me? I have to strain, strain so hard just to focus... Damn it all, what is this dark magic!? This void... It permeates my mind, tries to subject me to its will, drives me away from any semblance of who I am... But worst of all... I like it.
I need to escape, somehow, somewhere, this isn’t happening... This can’t be happening!
====================
I can’t believe I resisted for so long. The priestess says it had been four whole seasons! I feel better though now that I’ve accepted it, this void grows stronger in my vision, but I feel better, feel like I can truly serve the... No, my dark goddess now.
====================
She discussed me joining the clergy as an initiate. All I have to do is make a sacrifice. It feels so much easier than I would have expected... Is this truly what I want though, or is it this void that... Feels so nice... I don’t know. I’m going through with it though, this will etch my name into m’lady’s domain, make my connection with her more... Permanent, perhaps.
====================
*The pages would return to the book as the short section ends, the ink elegant with a slight tinge of purple now, the writing clean, neat.*
I have blood on my hands.
The goblins, the orcs, yes they were sentient beings, but I killed them quickly, they were evil, wrong, a scourge to the world. I begged forgiveness to Ilmater with each kill. This woman though... She was an innocent, an elven clergy member of Selune torn from her temple by stealth and subterfuge. I can’t turn back now, my fate is decided, there is no redemption from this point. With the changing of my fate though, I’ve come to like this void in my mind even more... It takes quite a bit of focus to keep myself from fading into it. It was so, so easy sneaking into the temple while they were all asleep, all it required were a few spells to protect me from the damned moon goddess as the lunar eclipse was in full swing.
If this book is ever found, let it be known that I kill not out of enjoyment or pleasure, but as a necessity. These deeds are not something I enjoy, or will ever enjoy. I commit them to further the Nightsinger.
====================
My brothers and sisters spread rumors about me... They believe I’m not faithful nor wise enough to become a full fledged clergy member. They seek chaos whereas I seek order and controlled chaos utilized as needed. Perhaps it’s simply my training shining through, my values, but these heathens do not understand, they’ve never understood. I believe most of them are truly enraptured simply in the aspect of darkness, of nothingness. They might as well follow the teachings of Ibrandul or Loviatar, for they won’t fully understand what Shar can be.
M’lady is the true darkness within each and every one of us. She stands not for what we long for, or wish for, but of what each of us can be or become with just that slight push over the edge. I strain for my order because I know when it snaps and breaks, I’ll be more of a monster than I ever was under my code and honor. I know the value of secrets, and of the power to manipulate.
And yet I feel like an outcast among my people in secrecy...
====================
It’s been a few years, hasn’t it? I’m still an initiate. They’re sending me to Thay of all places... Thay! Of course we’re legal in Thay. No more hiding, no more secret meetings. I might as well just brand her insignia into my skin for everyone to know whom I worship. We set out on our journey soon, and then will proceed to set sail. I’ve come to live with this void, and manage it. It still clouds my vision, but I’ve learned to focus, and use this focus to direct my full attention at a target in combat. It’s become a part of me...
====================
Names... So many names. Belos Galambos, Willo Goodman, Drom... I don’t remember ever having to remember so many names in such a short time, I didn’t even know the names of half my brothers and sisters at the temple... Slavers ambushed our caravan. Most of the initiates fled or killed them, but I was separated from the group. They chased me into some forest for days until I arrived at the edge of a cliff. A... I believe it was a red wizard who saved me, but I don’t know for sure. What I do know is that the Clergy have no recollection of our group being sent here, they simply said I’d become an initiate. Them and I have been fighting over my visions, and that I’ve begun to make enough of a name to attract assassins. They still think I should only be an initiate though. I’ve also taken up slaving, I mean... What’s the lives of a few dozen thugs and monsters in the grand scheme of things?
Perhaps it is time to sever my ties and spread Shar’s will how it was meant to be spread. By the blade of a sword upon my enemies, so that all may know her name, fear, and revere it.
====================
Willo Goodman... An interesting fellow and a drunk. I consider him a solid ally though at this time, despite worshipping some pitiful excuse for a god... It’s a shame what happened to him with the fire giant, and I feel horrible about it, but he’s alive and well enough, and I returned most of his belongings.
Shar dictates I should have kept them, perhaps, but my code of honor is strict, and I could do no such thing.
====================
It is done. The High Priestess was angry, she threatened to kill me even, but she... Believes in my visions, or perhaps she received word to not end my life. I am going to join the Priador legion. If I can help with this damned Salamander war, it’ll begin to spread enough of a name for myself to further M’lady’s cause. On top of that I’ll be close at hand to the temple so sending reports will be easy.
====================
The Priador bastards won’t accept me. You’d think with Salamanders near their doorsteps they’d want every able bodied man and woman under their commanders... Especially since they charge for everything except our cloaks. No matter, I am going to join the Thazalhar Legion... Sergeant Drom feels this would be beneficial, and I do owe him a good deal in getting oriented with Thay. Yes, that will do.
====================
Lycanthropy... I was lucky to catch it in time with Willo’s help. Gods, that could have been a lot worse than it was...
====================
It seems I haven’t gained much respect... The fellow legionnaires have been referring to me as “The Whiskey Queen” ever since I brought in that little gang of thugs who ambushed me while I was out drunk. The commander thinks I should have killed them, but killing should be reserved for more serious cases. I’d say ten lashings each and they’ll learn their lesson right quick. Besides... I think the damage I caused in my state will keep them in line.
====================
Belos Galambos, an interesting fellow and I think I’d consider him a friend. The man is rather strange, but so is any red wizard or apprentice to them. I think we’ll get along just fine we will.
Not to even mention that spell... I don’t know what it is, but it... Clears the void from my head when he casts it- at least temporarily. I feel whole again, but I also begin to think more deeply... Is what I’m doing wrong? No, no way, that can’t be. Shar’s will is always right, I can’t believe I’d even question that!
====================
The defense of Alaor was a success! I’m quickly gaining fame and prestige among my colleagues much to the Chagrin of Davis. Really now, why does he hate me so much? Suppose I’ll never know.
That battle was tough, but we pulled through. I wasn’t keen on the idea of being led by a gnoll, but no matter, the mission was a success and I doubt anyone will think much of whomever was leading us, heh.
====================
I’ve been given a gift from my goddess... I’m finding myself more and more in-tune with the divine half of my training, though I still practice furiously in regards to my physical training.
====================
Met a man named Gust... Can’t stand Shaundakul, but his wares are worth having to deal with that damned shrine being so close.
Also began working on finding gargoyle skulls. Used to spot them all over the place, but they seem to be something of a rarity now that I actually -want- to find them. And he wants thirty of them no less! A contract is a contract though, and I won’t put it down for anything!
====================
Met a man, or rather half dragon named Valin Storm today. He’s definitely a business person, and I’m rather sure he’s a member of the Tyraturos legion. He irritates me to no end, I absolutely can’t stand him! Yet... At the same time I find myself peculiarly drawn towards him. This is a very strange feeling, and one that I don’t like at all. I’m usually prone to simply ignoring such things as they don’t even cross my mind, but at the same time, I usually don’t think about sparring with folks... That would be a rather... Ecstatic experience, fighting someone who had half a brain and had a large chance of potentially winning.
What am I thinking? Bah, I need to go kill something, maybe capture a slave or two. I barely know the bastard...
====================
Met an elf recently who I’m considering not enslaving surprisingly enough, and Belos disappeared. Strange.
====================
Haha! I’ve been promoted! Davis can go shove a greataxe down his throat, this promotion came straight from the Thazalhar legion! I’m going to be sure to put it to great use, and continue to train, learn, study... Thay will stand tall, but its citizens shall know fear towards M’lady in due course...
====================
I... Really need to lay off the alcohol. I now know that Mr. Storm can be trusted after that little excursion to the hotsprings, but at the same time, I should have had more self control in the first place.
====================
The defense of Bezantur was a success, thank Kossuth for that agreement... The salamandars were driven out, and my short-lived command will surely reflect well in the Priador. It’s a shame Belos wasn’t there to help... I wonder if he’s dead?
Willo’s helped me begin to realize an underlying threat here though. The one known as Raevyn... She follows the Gnoll, not Thay. She’s a threat, and I’ll be keeping a closer eye on her- should I become the rank of lieutenant I’ll be sure to have others do the same while she’s in Thazalhar or Moszabbar. To what lengths would she follow that damned gnoll over Thay? Even with my worship I’ve begun to hail this country as a place of true freedom that the “free” nations would never understand.
====================
I’ve decided to move in with Mr. Storm. It’s economical and puts a roof over my head, and quite frankly I need to save as much money while still keeping as much stability as I can. He’s even agreed to waive the fees if I help him from time to time on contracts!
I can’t help but feel he was acting strange around me.
====================
I... No one’s done that before, given me a gift... I received rewards for services rendered, and have earned payment. I’ve received investments too, but never... Gifts... I need to thank him when I see him again, but he always seems to be out and about or asleep when I’m home... A letter simply won’t cut it. I still need to arrange for a spar. I think I’ve grown stronger, and I think I might beat him, even if it would be a long, arduous fight, probably pretty sweaty and
Gah! I really, really need to clear these thoughts from my head. Damned half-dragon...
====================
Helped Willo out today... I kinda want to get to know him more, he’s an interesting fellow, perhaps not so much of a drunk as I thought though definitely a bit oblivious at times...
I can’t tell what he thinks about my moving in with Mr. Storm, though I doubt he’s keen on the idea.
====================
Setting off for Nethwatch tomorrow. I owe Drom big time! I mean, five skulls? That’s a lot of money, but it's well worth it... Growing fond of this place though, even if I know that only two rooms are technically “mine.”
====================
Sparred with Mr. Storm today. He's a pretty shoddy horseman, but I gotta give him credit, he can fight. It was very enjoyable, though I got the strange feeling that he was toying with me by the end of the first round. What happened on those tournament grounds can stay there, but needless to say I'm still debating whether he makes me grate my teeth or grin.
The match though... It was absolutely amazing! I'm still recovering from it. Usually when I get hurt, I just feel pain and numbness from whatever herbs I'm using, but right now I feel warmth... I don't like it. I don't like it at all, yet here it is and I'm somehow enjoying it. Perhaps my joy of fighting is simply getting the best of me... Or I'm a glutton for punishment. I plan to beat him nonetheless one of these days. Stupid half dragon.