[MrsJones]

Entry 8

Maybe… maybe I was wrong, about a lot of things. I was such a pitiful mess after Soren’s death. How does anyone bear the passing of a little brother? Is there any way to make it easier, to lessen the pain every time you think of their chubby sticky fingers in yours or their infectious giggle or the way they nestled into your arms? If there is, I haven’t found it.

Like I said, a mess… Maybe I was wrong about the dreams. Maybe they were just dreams. Twisted images of things I didn’t want to think about when awake. The red wizard says the Darkbringer is risen, by his own hands, but… the scriptures say the Darkbringer is dead. And others have warned me against this red wizard’s manipulations. That I am only a stepping stone for his own ambitions. Who am I to believe? Who am I to trust? How am I to make the most important decisions of my life when I have nothing to go on but the words of others? These are the thoughts that have haunted my sleepless nights.

But… I think the sleepless nights have finally come to fruition. I think I know the answer to all these questions. Simply that, the only person I can trust is myself. I have to follow my heart. I have to. What else can I do? And my heart says I need to leave the past where it is, and start over here in Thay, my new home.