[Dyskordia]

*This entry isn't dated*
Each day is dragging into the next. I stand. I wait. I get jobs now and then. Swing my blade, bleed a little and keep going, then sleep and do it again the next day. Mind numbing.

I haven't had a problem with slavers lately. Once-off thing? Hopeful thinking, but I don't mind holding onto it for now.

Had a few suggestions that I should go be a temple lackey of some sort. Go be an "enforcer". So... go beat someone else up on another's command? I'm tired of that. I fought too hard. I bled too much. I sacrificed too much to just take it over a barrel again. Something will turn my way. It has to.

Until then, it's swing, bleed, repeat.

[Dyskordia]

*This entry too, was not dated*

So much has changed... I don't know where to begin. I've been... taken in by a Thayan Knight. A part of me doesn't know why, still. He says because he sees potential. Maybe he's right. Right now, I'm willing to try. Anything, really, to get me out of the doldrums I found myself in. The First Mate of the Widow's Cry would be laughing at me now for my weakness and desperation, but she is a world away. I see just how small her world was, and in turn... just how small I was.

I won't say that this has been easy, though. Up at dawn. Running until my legs want to fall off and then fighting until my arms want to do the same. We eat, we talk, I sit for long periods of time trying to find what he calls "Soul's Fire". Everything cries for sleep once the time comes, and when I wake, it all begins again. I am not allowed to cuss. I am not allowed to drink, besides a glass of red wine at the end of the day. I hate red wine. Still... I'll do this.

My Lordling gave me a gift as well: freedom from my scars. He gave me a helm that removed them. It's so strange, not feeling like I'm bound in wire. I don't hurt when I move, and I don't burn when I sleep. I don't itch. I'm not bound to... him, anymore. Ironbones is letting go. Maybe I can let go, too.