[Destinysdesire]

Found hidden under his mattress is a battered old book, the insignia of Corellon upon the cover and the name Calelruril Moonshadow etched into it.

This was apparently made for me the day I was born, but irony that it wasn't given to me until the day before I was nearly kidnapped by slavers. Yet here I am no longer in the Moonwood, but Thay. We had been warned of slavers near our woods, yet they hadn't been seen in days. I was supposed to be trained as a Sentinel for my village, a protector of kin. Yet now I find myself offering my services to Red Wizards. Thankfully the one I met first seemed friendly.... reasonable in comparison to rumors, but my lessons were taught well by the elders. Let them believe they are gods before you, let them believe they are your betters, act as if you were speaking to Corellon himself. 

I have to admit, such worked in my favor, my obedience, respect and deferral to his power and authority earned me credit in his eyes, I was for the time, favored. Now I just need to stay that way, perhaps if I am cautious, work within his authority, I can avoid the collar and life on a chain. After all, a willing slave is better then one that plots against his Master. So perhaps I can become something more then just a lesser slave.

I have spent the day since my departure from "his Omnipotence" training, getting stronger, getting better gear. I still have a long way to go unfortunately. Especially if I wish to be of any value compared to his current Knight and Bodyguard Crank. Thus I will continue my training, pushing and striving to be more then some useless slave. Perhaps over time earn a name for myself, and maybe one day, return home.

[Destinysdesire]

Much has changed since that first day, I was scooped up by another house who wasted no time in getting a loyal sword. House Ashby. My Mistress, now High Whipmistress, guides me along my new faith, my new life and my new dreams. She has been told much of my truths, much of the darkness within me, yet still accepts me. We have had our disagreements and yet, I still look forward to seeing her every day. She is anything but cruel, she has helped me hone my skills, helped me find myself and continues to help me work through my problems.

Loviatar guide my thoughts and dreams. Guide me to better discipline, and help me temper my emotions.

[Destinysdesire]

The life was a lie, she was a lie, just like all the others. She betrayed me, tried to murder me, demanded I leave Loviatar and that I surrender the slave she had me buy, she got her slave, I left the temple, but I have not and will not forgive her betrayal. I did everything for her, and my loyalty was repaid with my own blood. I have learned this lesson well, no one cares if I live or die. Thus the only name that will matter is the one I make for myself. Under Bane. Then she will see and learn. All good things in time I suppose. One way or another anyways. I already figured out Master Uras'Thule doesn't want me, if she had, she wouldn't waste the time about choosing.

It doesn't matter. I will stand alone as I always have, In time I will die alone as well, but until that day, I will fight and I will make a name for myself. One that will become feared across Thay as a tyrant. May Bane darken my path.

[Destinysdesire]

A final note is left, a single message left for the one that finds it. The rest of the pages beyond this lay bare and blank. Save for a stain of what is possibly liquid silver mixed with belladonna.

To whomever finds this book, by the time this is read I am already gone. I have left this behind that it may be found as a testament for the joke of a life I had. I was born damned as my "kin" called it. Cursed with Lycanthropy. I for a brief time found a home, family, people I cared for...but a difference of opinion in slave branding, the draw of her blade cutting through me as if I was the enemy, the exile from the Temple I had come to know....sealed my fate from them, and for that the Kin I had come to care for hated me. I tried to find new purpose, a life under Bane, seeking perhaps a new house, yet in the end I came to realize, they don't want me either...just a free informant. They don't want a freak monster...The world wins then, its already done. I returned my gear to my former house...all of it. I will not go out a thief...and maybe that gear will help another who is more deserving of life. 

I lied and told my kin I had chartered a boat home, the only boat home I have..is home to Banehold. Liquid silver with a large dose of belladonna. I already feel very ill, very weak, and I can feel it burning. It won't be long now. Her last words..."Get lost"....those last words will haunt me....as I leave this world behind. "I have no sympathy for you"....I never wanted sympathy....but I am beyond asking anymore....beyond believing that things can be better. That there is some hope for my future. There is no future. Not anymore.

~Calelruril Moonshadow - Gone and forgotten.